What is the most important "must have"?
The most important "must have" is that you must be on the same page in your personal and spiritual growth. If you don't have this in common, one of you will always be dragging and pushing the other and there will be resentment and stress on the relationship. When you feel confident based on the other person's consistent actions (not just their words), that they are on the same page as you in growing and changing, I say, go for it! Dive in! You will never know if that person is right for you if you don't dive in.
Of course you want this person to have your other "must haves" too. and then there's just good old common sense.
Diana Morgan, M.A., H.H.E., Minister
PO Box 553, Santa Rosa, CA 95402
707-548-7003 or 925-980-9052
For information about performing ceremonies: Blessings To You
For information about relationship workshops, coaching and marriage prep: Whole Heart Path
We always invite comments!
The #1 reason marriages break up is because they lose site of the love that brought them together. I help couples break through their personal barriers, opening their whole heart to experience their authentic connection. The Whole Heart Path awaits you...
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, November 13, 2008
How do we know when it's safe to dive into the relationship?
How do we know when it's safe to dive into the relationship? What's enough?
Common sense is huge in this decision. The truth is that we know more than we let ourselves know about ourselves and other people. The key is to know yourself and to be able to be honest with yourself. How can you trust another person if you don't trust yourself and you can't be honest? You need to be honest about what you really want. In any area of your wants, you can characterize your wants in two types: "must have" and "would like to have but I can live without". "Must have" wants are the deal breakers. These are the qualities and aspects of the other person that cannot be compromised. If you compromise your "must have" list, you will have a very difficult relationship and are less likely to make it as a couple. I have worked with couples who have none of their "would like to have but I could live without" and their relationships are good. They each get those other needs met by other people and in other ways. On the other hand, I have rarely seen a couple who don't have their "must haves" make it.
Diana Morgan, M.A., H.H.E., Minister
PO Box 553, Santa Rosa, CA 95402
707-548-7003 or 925-980-9052
For information about performing ceremonies: Blessings To You
For information about relationship workshops, coaching and marriage prep: Whole Heart Path
Next article...
What is the most important "must have"?
The #1 reason marriages break up is because they lose site of the love that brought them together. I help couples break through their personal barriers, opening their whole heart to experience their authentic connection. The Whole Heart Path awaits you...
Common sense is huge in this decision. The truth is that we know more than we let ourselves know about ourselves and other people. The key is to know yourself and to be able to be honest with yourself. How can you trust another person if you don't trust yourself and you can't be honest? You need to be honest about what you really want. In any area of your wants, you can characterize your wants in two types: "must have" and "would like to have but I can live without". "Must have" wants are the deal breakers. These are the qualities and aspects of the other person that cannot be compromised. If you compromise your "must have" list, you will have a very difficult relationship and are less likely to make it as a couple. I have worked with couples who have none of their "would like to have but I could live without" and their relationships are good. They each get those other needs met by other people and in other ways. On the other hand, I have rarely seen a couple who don't have their "must haves" make it.
Diana Morgan, M.A., H.H.E., Minister
PO Box 553, Santa Rosa, CA 95402
707-548-7003 or 925-980-9052
For information about performing ceremonies: Blessings To You
For information about relationship workshops, coaching and marriage prep: Whole Heart Path
Next article...
What is the most important "must have"?
The #1 reason marriages break up is because they lose site of the love that brought them together. I help couples break through their personal barriers, opening their whole heart to experience their authentic connection. The Whole Heart Path awaits you...
What do you do after you get that date?
What do you do after you get date?
And what about after you actually get into the relationship? I love that now there are all these wonderful ways to meet and find the partner of your dreams. So now, you've found that person...you've met...you've gotten to know each other...and now it's time to "get involved". What is "getting involved"? It's about the process that I refer to as the "trust test". We all do it, so let's just call it what it is. It's like getting ready to dive into a cold, unheated swimming pool. You put in one toe to test the water. You leave it in the pool for awhile. Then you maybe put in all the toes, or the whole foot and so on, until you are used to the water. That's what we do in relationships, in a manner of speaking. We enter into the relationship one toe at a time, observing, questioning, wondering when is it ok to trust? How do we know when we can trust the other person? How much of our foot do we put in before the dive? The whole foot? The other foot? A leg? Or do we just keep testing the water and never dive in? For me, over the years, before I figured out how to know if it was ok to dive, I would either jump in with both feet, blindly trusting, or I would put up the wall, not even dipping a toe. It was always very black or white to me and I never really had anything to base it on, except, of course, what other people thought.
Diana Morgan, M.A., H.H.E., Minister
PO Box 553, Santa Rosa, CA 95402
707-548-7003 or 925-980-9052
For information about performing ceremonies: Blessings To You
For information about relationship workshops, coaching and marriage prep: Whole Heart Path
Next article...
How do we know when it's safe to dive into the relationship? What's enough?
The #1 reason marriages break up is because they lose site of the love that brought them together. I help couples break through their personal barriers, opening their whole heart to experience their authentic connection. The Whole Heart Path awaits you...
And what about after you actually get into the relationship? I love that now there are all these wonderful ways to meet and find the partner of your dreams. So now, you've found that person...you've met...you've gotten to know each other...and now it's time to "get involved". What is "getting involved"? It's about the process that I refer to as the "trust test". We all do it, so let's just call it what it is. It's like getting ready to dive into a cold, unheated swimming pool. You put in one toe to test the water. You leave it in the pool for awhile. Then you maybe put in all the toes, or the whole foot and so on, until you are used to the water. That's what we do in relationships, in a manner of speaking. We enter into the relationship one toe at a time, observing, questioning, wondering when is it ok to trust? How do we know when we can trust the other person? How much of our foot do we put in before the dive? The whole foot? The other foot? A leg? Or do we just keep testing the water and never dive in? For me, over the years, before I figured out how to know if it was ok to dive, I would either jump in with both feet, blindly trusting, or I would put up the wall, not even dipping a toe. It was always very black or white to me and I never really had anything to base it on, except, of course, what other people thought.
Diana Morgan, M.A., H.H.E., Minister
PO Box 553, Santa Rosa, CA 95402
707-548-7003 or 925-980-9052
For information about performing ceremonies: Blessings To You
For information about relationship workshops, coaching and marriage prep: Whole Heart Path
Next article...
How do we know when it's safe to dive into the relationship? What's enough?
The #1 reason marriages break up is because they lose site of the love that brought them together. I help couples break through their personal barriers, opening their whole heart to experience their authentic connection. The Whole Heart Path awaits you...
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